A Woman's Age
Happy birthday to me! This video was the last class I taught on March 6th! - So much has happened since then!.. I'm 36 today.
I know most women don't like to share their age, but that's exactly why I'm doing it. I feel like age is another one of those shame boxes that we get put in, and then stay there... But young women should know how freaking amazing it feels to be 36! Wrinkles to say you have smiled, spots to say you have stood in the sun, and scars to say you have been hurt...and you survived.
I went through my rebellious stage, blindly doing the opposite of what I was told...
I went through my depression stage, wondering what in the world I was going to do with a Masters in Transformative Leadership and a failed love-life...
I went through my reconciling the rebellion with the intentional values phase, as I learned to know and recognize my true Self...
I went through my honeymoon phase, of falling madly in love and having all of my dreams come true...
And then, I went through my quarantine phase...skkkirrrrt?! What in the actual F$@k is going on?!
To actually feel like a confident and empowered adult at this point is a freaking FEAT! All I really want to tell you is that things be cray...and you have to give yourself some graaaaace!
Here's one of the many things
Brené Brownhas taught me: Narrow down the number of people who's opinion matters to you. Try to write all their names on a small sticky note, and when you run out of room - you're done. At this point, maybe the sticky note just says your own name. Sweet! Seriously, you are the only one who knows what you have gone through, how hard you've tried, and your intentions behind it all.
If I wasn't clear on my core values, and confident in how I've enacted those values in my decisions, I would be a total wreck right now!
In this pandemic, I've been in the center of several Sh&% storms...
I was accused of copyright infringement by choosing the Instagram name airkaty_ (2 years ago)
Even though my intention was to promote the business - and P.S. businesses have no right to request/require ANYTHING on social media according to the Colorado statute 8-2-127
I was accused of creating a hostile work environment on a private Facebook group
Even though I was trying to protect my friends and community by asking questions about social distancing in our line of work.
I was told that I resigned weeks ago
Even though I didn't say anything of the sort...but then had to resign upon being basically pushed out.
Then, on top of that...
I was accused of flaunting my privilege and not caring about important racial topics
Even though I was allowing a personal project TIME to ruminate, in order to create something more meaningful.
I was kicked off a dance company and removed from Facebook groups. I seriously felt that people, who I previously called friends, were getting a completely wrong impression of me.
Everyone's opinions and experiences are so vastly different in this time. I have been so interested to connect and share experiences, but have felt that intention met with resistance and withdrawal...And I get it, I don't judge. At the end of this, I still love you! What sucks is to be judged without ever having a conversation.
At the end of the day, I know who I am. I know my intentions of love and light. And I am the only one who can bring them to the world.
And here’s the most important part: regardless of other people’s opinions of me, My own opinion of myself is the most important. I am the only one I need to impress. And so far, I have to say, I’m doing a pretty awesome job at life.
On top of everything, I’m trying to start a business to support people who test positive for the virus - offering them community resources, support and answers. Even those efforts are being misconstrued. Gah!!
Universe, I see you, I hear you.
I know this is a test....And luckily, I lovvvve tests!
Bring it 36. I'm ready.