Everyone Deserves Love
Something that people say to me a lot when I talk about finally finding love at 34 is, “Good you deserve it”! And while I so appreciate that sentiment, here’s the thing...Everyone deserves love! There is a divine spark in everyone and you are ALL worthy, valuable, and deserving. Being vulnerable is so hard! Especially when you’ve been hopeful and then disappointed over and over again. But being vulnerable gets easier as you start to become proud of who you are.
For me it worked like this: I stopped numbing my feelings and found my sense of self again. My confidence started growing and I discovered my true core values regardless of who is around. I realized I get to decide - everything! You might feel like you’re stuck, but there’s always choice and freedom, even if just a sliver. I got curious about the ways I like to feel and the ways my own mind participates in either creating that state or standing in the way of it. I discovered weird pockets of shame where there shouldn’t be, and it was only because I defined my core values that I was able to do that. For example, my core values: Everyone is beautiful in their own unique way, and sexuality is beautiful and natural. But more important to me than physical beauty is energetic or spiritual beauty - a kind heart, an inquisitive mind, a desire to serve...so when I start to feel pockets of shame around expressing sexuality, or the fact my body is getting older or whatever weird thing my mind makes up about my body, I know those feelings are from socialization. They are real, but I can choose to get all tangled up inside about it and let it ruin my state of being, or I can smile to them and say, “Yes, I know you’re there, but you’re silly and I choose to focus on other feelings inside”.
Cutting out the shame is the number one thing that has changed my life in the last couple years. If you eat something unhealthy, but don’t let it send you in a shame spiral, it’s like ya, I’m human. But if you let the shame consume you, the inner voice is just like, “F@$k it! I already ruined my diet so I might as well eat the whole box”. This creates a roller coaster dynamic in your life and it’s soooo dramatic to live this way. It’s like high school when you weren’t allowed to do something and it was like THE END OF THE WORLD! Haha, trust me, I know a thing or two about rebellion ;)
Besides shame, the other roadblock to being vulnerable is that your heart is not used to receiving love. Either it hasn’t been there, or you haven’t accepted it, or you don’t know how to ask. I feel super lucky, because I grew up with amazing parents who told me I was special and that I could do anything. Part of me even felt a sense of shame about being so lucky in my childhood. Like, what a weird thing to feel shame about! Just because I didn’t go through some of the hardship that is common, I felt privileged and like people would look down on me as just another spoiled white girl. But I decided I’d like to shift my thinking on that to this: Since I was given these fortunate circumstances, it must be for a reason. I can find a way to pay it forward. Even if it’s just right now, in this moment, telling you that you are special and you can do anything! OOOoooo I just got goosebumps! I hope you felt that too! Anyway, I love you, you can do this! believe in yourself, discover yourself and what you want, and then ask for it.
I talk about this stuff all the time in my classes, so come check out some new ones I’ve picked up!
Mondays 12pm AIR - AIR Aerial Fitness
Tuesdays 9:30am Circus Conditioning (all the exercises you can do at home or anywhere to prepare yo to do the cool tricks you see on Instagram) - Circus Collective
Tuesdays 12pm Vinyasa 1-2 (Kindness Yoga Platte)
Wednesdays 6pm AIR - AIR Aerial Fitness
Thursdays 9:30am Power Vinyasa Yoga (all levels) - Circus Collective
Thursdays 5:15pm Core (30 min) - AIR Aerial Fitness
Thursdays 6pm AIR Flow (aerial yoga all levels) - AIR Aerial Fitness
Fridays 9:30am AIR Flow (aerial yoga all levels) - AIR Aerial Fitness
Fridays 12pm AIR Foundation (beginner aerial fitness) - - AIR Aerial Fitness
Fridays 2pm Vinyasa 2-3 - Kindness Yoga Capitol Hill