ALL the Things
So I did something crazy and some might call impulsive, but I call it being decisive and trusting my intuition. I quit my full-time management job to spend more time creating. I absolutely love leading teams of people and I had the best team at AIR who made my job super fun and enjoyable. But as I was sending sales emails, copying and pasting, worrying about revenue, and feeling overwhelmed, I asked myself: What if I let go of this goal I had to make a new studio really successful? Would I feel like a failure? And then I asked myself: Was that goal connected to my heart? - Or was it connected to my ego?… Because while my ego hates to let go of things and is constantly pursuing achievement, my heart wants to create and explore. I suddenly felt lighter, my heart raced, and my mind opened up to wonder: What else is possible? I realized I didn’t want to waste any more seconds of my life doing anything but creating in the direction of my dreams.
So what are my dreams? I have always wanted to be a writer since I was a little girl, but I only wrote academic papers. I never gave myself an opportunity to really explore writing whatever the heck I want to write. I also recently had to learn photoshop and edit some photos. It seemed like an annoyance at first - a bump in the road - but then I really started liking it! Even though it was super hard and time-consuming, it felt like Art - like painting with reality. Could I make a living doing photoshop and freelance writing? Probably not, but if I also do all these other things like teaching yoga, aerial, lyra, dance, planning events, connecting people, making malas, maybe it could be possible. For the first time in my life I have the freedom and confidence to find out. My new job title? - ALL the Things.
I know that many photo editors are also graphic designers, digital marketing specialists, and have been to decades of schooling to refine their skills, and I don’t mean to make light of that. But I feel like I have an eye. I’ve spent my whole life creating shapes and art with movement, and there are sooo many good online tutorials that I’ve found. When someone says they can’t come to my dance class because they’re ‘not a dancer’, I tell them the only thing you have to do to be a dancer is to dance. So I’m just going to show up each day of my life and see what happens.
Before I started teaching yoga, I was always the student, never the teacher. I had to get more knowledge first. I would teach once I was ready - once I was perfect. I knew hardly anything about yoga, and I was thrown into situations where I just had to teach. I felt like I was faking it - like someone would find out I didn't actually know what I was talking about, but then I just kept growing and one day I looked back and was like, wow - I’ve been doing this for a decade! Maybe I am a real yoga teacher! LOL!
I also don’t think I would have had the confidence to take this risk two years ago. I was stuck in scarcity and self-doubt. Then when I cut out alcohol for two years and proved to myself that I could transform my entire world, I started believing that I could do anything. Having the most amazing and supportive boyfriend in the world doesn’t hurt either! So since vulnerability and empathy seem to be gifts of mine, I am going to trust that all of the experience and knowledge inside of me is enough. It’s enough for each of us to follow our dreams, and I believe in you too! I’ll end with a quote by Brene Brown, “This is who I want to be. I want to create. I want to make things that didn’t exist before I touched them. I want to show up and be seen in my work and in my life, and if you’re going to show up and be seen, there is only one guarantee, and that is - you will get your ass kicked...Especially if you’ve committed to creating in your life, you will get your ass kicked. So you have to decide, at that moment, I think for all of us, if courage is a value we hold, then this is a consequence.” If you’ve read all the way to the end of this post, I’m thinking you might read this book that I’ll start writing, so leave a comment below and I’ll make sure you get one of the first copies!