See the Mountain & Walk Towards It


I was in a Leadership Immersion the last few days, and it was transformational to say the least. I realized that I can stop preparing for my hike up the mountain of ‘my purpose’ and just start walking. I’ve been waiting for a clear picture of what that mountain looks like at the top. I’ve been wanting to have a map of the paths and a list of everything I might need along the way. But if I can trust that what I need is already inside of me, then I can just point myself in the direction of the mountain and get moving. The details of exactly what that looks like? - Well, I’ll just have to see when I get there. 

This tendency to over-prepare probably comes a desire for people to like me. I think it’s fair to say I have a multi-faceted personality, and different sides come out at different times. But now that I’m finally in a place in my life where I have nothing to hide, I’m wondering if I can be more authentically myself in all relationships. My rebel side even comes into play if I take joy in being a paradox - people thinking one way about me and me being another. Default modes like being either ‘too personal and even inappropriate at times’, or ‘too academic or full of complexity’ - those are like tools that I thought I needed for my hike. But I don’t. My greatest tools are this body and this mind that I carry with me everywhere I go. 

I met a friend who seems to be completely ‘in his body’  all the time. Before he speaks, you can literally see him tapping into the visceral feelings his body, to see what comes up. I was so inspired because to me, THAT is how you truly live in the moment. As we went around the circle speaking, I kept thinking about what I was going to say, if it was on the same level of vulnerability as the other people, what their personality types were, and which side of me they might like best, and then it occurred to me: What if I could just be present? What if I could be like my friend and just feel into whatever needs to come through in the moment? What if I could just listen? What if I could just trust that being myself, that being present is enough?

So that is my commitment. On my journey up my personal mountain, I will trust and I will show up. No hiding, no manipulation, just me. And the difference it will make? I think people will trust me in return, and I’m excited to see new depth in my relationships! 

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